We had been experiencing a dry hot humid summer here in Glengarry county. Little rain had fallen and when it does it is quick thunderstorms that pass by. On my property I have a small pond at the edge of the tree line. This summer, my pond went dry. wells were beginning to run dry, farmers praying for their crops. Over the weekend we had massive rainfalls, I had read posts on facebook about friends running outside to dance in the rain and celebrate.
Last week I had an intuitive class on the Wednesday afternoon. This was the class where we learned how to do Intuitive chakras readings. Putting together everything we had learned over the past year. Part of my homework and healing prescription was to take a mud bath. I’m giggling to myself. When some of you think of a mud bath, you make an appointment at a posh salon and pay incredible amounts of money. When you say to this country chiccitta, take a mud bath…literally I take a mud bath!
I knew that after the weekend there should have been enough rain to get dirty and do some serious mud bathing. I set out to the edge of the forest to check out my little pond.No water, but it was still moist. I removed my flip flops and walked over the brush and debris down into the moist pit. I noticed that I was walking funny…ridged, like I was afraid of my step, as if I would hurt myself. Humped back, walking like I had a cane…looking for something to grab onto to help me balance. When I realized what I was doing I stopped in my step and took note. “Wanda, why are you walking so funny? Nothing here will hurt you!” I was afraid to hurt myself, afraid of sinking into the unknown? I straighten my back, pushed my shoulders back watched my step and started to smile, I’m in control. Moving my foot forward, slightly sinking into the earth’s floor, I smiled again. When I got to the bottom of the pit I squatted to feel the earth in my hands. I examined what was at the bottom of this small pond. There was a thick layer of leaves and small twigs. A healthy mix of compost, as I removed the many layers of the decay, I found the rich soil I was searching for.
I scooped it up with my fingers gently putting some on my face, on my cheekbones, on my forehead. I felt a little apprehensive…and thought…Wanda, this is supposed to be a mud bath! Why are you hesitating? Not like anyone here is watching you! Set that inner child FREE! I dug again filling my hands full of this rich soil and spread it all over my face! WOW it felt so cool and refreshing! I then covered my arms, I lifted my long skirt and covered my legs….rubbing it deep into my pores like a wild woman! I then began to walk in a circle chanting, humming….feeling my feet sink into the earth…gooey mud between my toes….I felt ALIVE and kinda bad ass…dirty woman!
I then began to ascend from the magical pond stopping at the top to grab my flip flops in my hand choosing to walk through the woods in my bare feet, cautiously looking where to step, trusting myself and where to walk, feeling the twigs beneath my feet, the coolness of the rocks, the fluffy moss that covers the rocks the soft cushion of leaves that lay on the earths floor. When I approached the edge of the forest and stepped
onto the grass. My body became stiff and rigged, I felt the burnt grass on my feet I felt picking and thought….will the neighbor see me? Will they think…look at that crazy fool! What on earth is she up to now? Judgement caught me off guard, making me feel ridged and stiff. I put on my flip flops…starting to walk then stopped….NO!….I’m not wearing them….screw you and what you think even if I am covered in mud from head to toe! Who is this wild creature walking from the woods? I am having a moment here and really enjoying how I’m feeling. I kicked off those flip flops and marched to the house with a huge smile on my face with feeling of triumph and freedom.
What did I learn with this practice? When we learn to trust and let go of fear and judgement we can relax and enjoy the moment. Many spiritualist refer to layers of the onion as we grow and make progress dealing with our own shit. I have found that I have removed layers of the earth’s core. The twigs and leaves, layers and layers to find that beautiful rich soil. I have been removing layers of branches, twigs, rocks some boulders and then the leaves, layers and layers of leaves. If we take the time to remove these layers we find that soft rich moist soil. In the fall, it gets covered with leaves again, twigs and branches fall throughout the year with storms.
We just have to keep removing the debris, like in life. Season after season. Working on ourselves is an ongoing process, it never stops! When walking on the earths floor, I learned to slow down, pay attention to where I place my feet. If I relaxed and went slow, it didn’t hurt. When I noticed or felt there was judgement I tensed up and hurt myself! I hurt myself thinking someone was watching, thinking someone was passing judgement. If…someone was watching…perhaps they were cheering me on saying WOW…that looks like fun! We are quick to “think” others are passing judgement on us. We are quick to pass judgment on ourselves and make up these little stories in our head that can turn into much larger problems causing us to stop living life authentically, for our own good, for our own life’s purpose. Creating our own fears thinking too much!
Be gentle on yourself as you move through life, through your own seasons. Removing the debris slowly and steadily at your own pace. What feels right for you? One week remove some twigs, the following month you may remove a huge bolder! Then a layers of leaves. Take the time to feel as you remove these layers. Take time to reflect and learn to walk again with your head held high and your shoulders rolled back. Walk with pride and confidence as you continue to walk the path you choose. Remember, when removing these layers, you need to adjust your step. Walk with confidence and trust your step one foot in front of the other. Some days if will feel life fluffy moss on stones, other days it will feel like burnt grass with pebbles! If it hurts….put on your flip flops for awhile